Stress Awareness Day: Finding New Ways to De-stress

As April is Stress Awareness Month, I wanted to address this topic, especially as what is stressing us out this year has a different flavor than usual. National Stress Awareness Day was originally set for the day after Tax Day, so we could reflect on how much we had let the matter of filing and paying taxes stress us out, but this year that doesn’t exactly apply because that particular stressor has been delayed.

There are any number of things you might be stressed about this April, from the health risks of going outside, to the multitude of layoffs and furloughs that are happening at various companies, to trying to manage working from home while simultaneously home-schooling your children. Not only that, but it might be frustrating not to be able to make any solid plans for the coming months. And if you or a loved one works an essential job, then you have the daily stress of managing those risks.

One shift that might be necessary to make is a radical acceptance of what is, and that includes identifying what you actually have control of versus what you don’t, as well as drastically ratcheting back expectations for yourself. Meaning, it might be quite impossible to deliver at work the way you typically do while also having to answer questions your child has about her school assignments or keep her focused.

If you feel overwhelmed by your workload at this time because it hasn’t eased up, it might be time to talk to your manager. Every company is having to make adjustments to work flow right now, and voicing your concerns now is better than waiting until problems have compounded. In general, lowering expectations for how much you can accomplish is not you failing or under-performing; it is simply a realistic adjustment to what are extraordinary circumstances at this time.

Now is the time to be compassionate and forgiving of yourself. This is not business as usual and cannot be treated as such.

Another adjustment you might need to make is taking more breaks and getting much more sleep than usual. This isn’t you being lazy; this is you responding to the very real needs of a body and mind that are processing many changes at once and responding to the unfolding news about the progression of this health crisis. Even if you don’t realize it, your system is going through a lot right now, consciously and unconsciously, and that takes a toll. Allow yourself those extra hours of sleep and work in a nap if you can. That being said, it’s also best if you can maintain a regular sleep schedule. If you need extra sleep, just make sure you are going to sleep and waking at roughly the same time every day.

In talking to many folks who are attempting to manage stress at this time, since many of our usual coping methods have been removed, including spending time with friends and extended family, it has been necessary to find new ways to de-stress. And some methods that might have worked before don’t have the calming effect that they used to. For example, one client of mine wasn’t finding relief in the reading materials that used to take his mind off his troubles. Instead he realized what he needed was to read some totally escapist pulp fiction. It was taking a different kind of activity to help him relax.

Others are finding that they have to find new ways to exercise. While a good long workout at the gym used to relieve stress, now they are finding that shorter but more frequent online yoga classes work better, for example. Or perhaps they are having trouble finding the usual quiet time for meditation that they had, so now it’s necessary to take a short walk while listening to Headspace or Calm.

If cooped up with others, a lively board game might allow people to be silly together and discharge some nervous energy. And in general, the more laughing you do, the better.  So watching stand-up videos or silly comedy movies can also provide a good release.

Ironically, what may not be stressing you out now (that had not so long ago) is: your morning commute, getting the kids to school on time and to and from their extracurricular activities after school, your boss’s evil glares across the open plan, whether or not your spouse is cheating on you, or your overextended schedule. So another thing to consider is taking stock of all the particular stressors that have been removed from your life this month. How does that feel?

Overall, these are unusual times that are forcing us to reorganize our lives and re calibrate our lifestyles. Finding a routine and new coping methods that work is going to be an ongoing process of trial and error. Try and roll with the chaos, try different things and be willing to let go of expectations and outcomes. And most of all, go easy on yourself and those around you. If there was ever a time to go with the flow, it is now.