Managing Post-Pandemic Anxiety as Life Returns to “Normal”

With Memorial Day – the unofficial start to summer – upon us, people are out in throngs.  Many state officials have followed the CDC’s loosening of mask restrictions and are allowing larger crowds to gather.  In whiplash fashion, we have gone from “stay at home” and “mask up” to “hot girl summer.”  Are you ready?

While plenty of folks I know are ready to get out there and live it up full throttle, just as many people are feeling a bit, well, shy.  For many, it is the effects of having had it drilled into our heads for over a year that it isn’t safe to be with people we know who don’t happen to live in our households, much less hang out in crowded places.  We’ve been battling an invisible contagion for over a year, so now it’s hard to believe that the invisible threat is no longer a threat.  All we have is a squiggly graph line to indicate that the numbers are down, and the fact is that those of us that believed we had germs to fear aren’t necessarily comforted by a squiggly line, when the invisible enemy could still be among us.  

Then there’s the fact that many of us have gotten used to our own company and even nestled into a sort of comfort in isolation.  For people who have struggled with social anxiety all their lives, the pandemic was actually a relief.  Social awkwardness at cocktail parties or networking events was replaced by the ubiquitous Zoom meeting, and some people found it easier to shine when communication became more focused and purposeful.  Many people relished their empty calendars, realizing just how exhausting their pre-pandemic lives had been and fully embracing time to rest.

So if you’re part of the more hesitant crowd, how will you manage the potentially explosive summer season?

Since day one, everyone has been processing the pandemic differently, and that is true for this transition back to “normal,” as well.  If ever there was a time to beware of FOMO, it is now.  Just because you see crowds of people on beaches and at backyard barbecues, that doesn’t mean you have to follow suit if you’re not feeling it.  It can be normal to feel a pang of jealousy at those scenes (that’s the nature of FOMO), but just reorient yourself to what you’re doing right now.  If you are enjoying having a slower, quieter day, really embrace that.  It is your choice.  There will always be another chance to go to the beach.  What is important is to honor the pace at which you feel ready to re-enter the world.    

Now is a great time to be more selective about what events you do attend and more conscious of how your time is spent in general.  If you have found relief in a slower pace and simply feeling more rested, then listen to that.  That might be the tone of the next chapter of your life:  quality over quantity.  That could result in a shedding of obligations and even people from your life.

Against our wishes, the pandemic took people, places and things from us, but it also presented us with the opportunity to willingly let go of things that were no longer really supporting or nourishing us.  Just because our lives pre-COVID were chaotic doesn’t mean we have to return to that.  You may have some choices to make, and that could be a very good thing. 

When invitations come along, pause.  You don’t have to default to yes, even if it is your cousin’s wedding.  Really listen in and see if it feels like a definite YES, or if there is a pinch of obligation or a fear of consequences if you say no.  You’re starting a new habit so give yourself the time to think it through.    

That said, if you feel yourself getting “stuck,” that is, fearful of taking steps to see people or join in events, allow yourself to ease back into things.  Some people are feeling like they only want to see one or two people at a time right now.  Many people have told me they have felt more tired after socializing because they aren’t used to it.  Hanging out with one friend can allow you to grease your social wheels without draining your energy.  Take the initiative and make a plan with someone you feel really comfortable with.  Or set a goal of doing one new thing each week.  Find a manageable and fun way to get back into the swing of things.    

Just remember to take it one decision at a time.  One week you might feel like you’re not ready to eat indoors and the next week you might be totally ready for a night of bar hopping.  Just as the squiggly lines on the graph can fluctuate and diminish, so can our anxieties about COVID and reopening.  The important thing is to make whatever you do this summer count.  Whether in small groups or large, embrace the outdoors, the fresh air and the feeling of freedom.