The Turn of the Year: What Have You Learned?

Well, here we are finally saying goodbye to the very memorable year that has been 2020.  Of course, the close of the calendar year doesn’t actually mean the end of COVID or the end of the uncertainty that has come along with it.  But it does afford us time to look back and reflect on everything we have been through since the earth made its full revolution around the sun.

How are you feeling about the journey you have made over the past year?  Many people, on the interwebs at least, have been shouting, begone 2020, you devil!  And yet, as with all trials and tribulations, there have been great shifts of focus and tremendous growth that have resulted from the year’s events.

When I have asked people what 2020 has given them, I have gotten a variety of answers.  One common one has been the gift of presence.  In derailing our plans, one after another, and making it impossible to make new ones, 2020 has forced us into the present.  This has been uncomfortable for most of us (especially the “planner” types). But I spoke recently to one such planner who proclaimed with satisfaction and a little surprise, “You know, I’m much less of a planner than I used to be.”

With less of our headspace being used up by planning, we are much freer to be in the present moment.  And as most of us have found out, once we get used to it, it’s kind of nice not to always be trying to manage countless scenarios that may or may not happen.  The great eureka is finding out that we are actually good at responding to circumstances as they arise in the moment – better than we are at planning for them.  How neat is that?

2020 has also shown us just how adaptable we are.  Everyone has had major curve balls thrown their way – job loss, working from home, schooling from home, new cohabitation situations, and a host of other rapid shifts.  These changes have often been incredibly stressful and they haven’t always gone perfectly, but everyone has found a way to do what’s needed to be done.  Often, the change that was forced upon us turned out to be exactly what we needed.  I am sure you have your own take on this crazy year, and now is a great time to take a look back and see what learning, or even what rewards, came out of your most difficult challenges. 

As we turn towards the new year, it is a good time to take the learning from 2020 and see what we can apply going forward.  I don’t know about you, but 2020 left me feeling quite drained.  So much processing and adapting and integrating took a lot of energy.  Not only that but every time I did decide to make a plan, it required so many more steps and negotiations than before.  As a result, one thing I constantly had to keep doing was adjusting my expectations – of myself, other people and of the world.  Often that meant expecting and accepting that things were going to take at least twice as long as usual.  No matter how impatient I was or how much I stamped my feet, the world wasn’t going to speed up to assuage me.

It also meant taking extra care of myself, slowing way down.  Giving myself extra sleep when needed and more downtime.  More things went on the back burner.  It meant changing my relationship to productivity.  Did all that stuff on the back burner mean I was lazy or an underachiever?  I realized it was unrealistic and unhealthy to think that I could achieve at my previous levels.

All of this was (and is) an ongoing process.  I for one am carrying these new bits of awareness into 2021.  I intend to spend less time making lists and plans and more time being in the moment.  To take one step at a time, accepting that things will take as long as they take, and being ok if things don’t play out according to my ideal timeline.  And as for those things on the back burner, well, they may get done and they may not.  But the most important things will.  And that is enough.

Most important, I think, is continuing this level of self-care.  Truly, accomplishing that one more task on the list is not more important than feeling rested.  In many ways these shifts have been organic.  For instance, I used to be able to do some work on my business every day (because there is always work to be done). And now there are some days when I literally cannot bring myself to go there.  I actually think it is a good thing that I can no longer override the need for rest or play.  It means I am truly listening to myself more.    

So as we embark on the next chapter of this often surreal, always interesting, journey, I invite you to let go of your usual approaches to the new year.  Rather than overloading your list of goals, maybe take some items – or expectations – off the list.  Or set one or two resolutions such as really listening to yourself this year or really honoring your needs.  We went through a lot in 2020, and a gentle start to the new year could be just the right thing.  

So however you are celebrating the turn of the year, have a wonderful 2021!